well what can i say, guys? i guess it isn't fair to say that i'm not inspired, because there certainly is lots around me to give me some motivation. no, i just feel kind of... defeated, i think.

on the surface things seem to be going pretty well, and for the majority they are indeed going well. however there are times when it's all i can do to hold things together and i feel like i'm here for everybody else and not myself. or maybe that's the purpose of life? i feel selfish saying that i should be living for myself, because surely that isn't what we're here for. i want to live and have everyone be pleased with me without being discontented in myself. is that possible? do i have to pick my happiness over anyone else's? or can i have both? i'm not sure... observing people in the world, it seems that it can be done, but are these people being honest with themselves? are they truly happy, or does someone else's happiness reflect onto them, but without enough magnitude to warm them internally?

i don't know. just feeling like writing something. i should be working on my short story for writer's craft, which is due on monday. it's supposed to be based on a name, and i picked "faith", and the irony that is her life. wish me luck.

also, would anyone be interested if i posted some writing on here too?